š§ Weekly Mind Sweep #148 | Curated Conversation | Conflict
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In the MindSweep this week:
Curated Conversation with curated GIFās & puns (for your entertainment).
Jamieās Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? Iāve got you!
Whatās Iām Reading - New for November, a story of resilience!
Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursdays) & Shannon Giordano and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce!
My face š and a link to schedule your free consultation.
Navigating Conflict
My morning walks through my city neighborhood are mapped out by existing streets and paved sidewalks, offering my mind a comfortable choice of path. Will I go left or right?
Either way, I know where I will end up from my past experience.
Walking through the woods might offer a fork in the path where two or more choices create conflict in my mind. Which way do I go? The automatic brain response to conflict is fear, which causes fight or flight reactions in our bodies and one of two things might happen.
Some of us rush forward, blazing our own trail without pausing to choose a direction.
Others might look at the fork and feel so overwhelmed they're tempted to set up camp indefinitely, afraid of making the "wrong" move.
But as entrepreneurs, we're explorers by nature. We know the thrillāand the necessityāof finding our own way. Navigating conflict is like learning to use a compass alongside a map. [5]
The compass represents our core values, pointing us toward what feels right for us.
The map gives us a broader view of possible routesātasks, relationships, and values that intersect and diverge.
This month, we'll learn how to use these tools to navigate the inevitable forks in our path:
Mind Your Business: Define and follow your compass, recognizing conflicts when they arise and understanding how they show up in tasks, relationships, and values.
Manage your Mind: By managing your internal conflicts, you can trust your compass even in times of stress, finding comfort in your ability to navigate the path forward.
What's On My Mind: Gather actionable tools that make it easier to choose a path forward, even when conflict feels uncomfortable.
For today, let's begin our month by understanding conflict, where it might occur, and why we might avoid it at all costs. Hereās the definition of conflict:
con·flict
Noun /ĖkänĖflik(t)/
a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.
Verb /kÉnĖflik(t)/
be incompatible or at variance; clash.
In other words, a struggle or clash between opposing forces; battle. a state of opposition between ideas, interests, etc; disagreement or controversy. [1]
Conflict is a normal part of our personal and professional lives.
Are you the type of human who walks around setting little fires everywhere and creating a blazing path of chaos and conflict, or would you rather hide under a rock and chew on it than face an uncomfortable conversation?
As an entrepreneur, you likely fall somewhere along the spectrum of conflict in your life and business.
So, how does conflict show up in business and life? Typically, there are 3 common types of conflict [2]:
task conflict,
relationship conflict,
and value conflict.
Let's unpack what these might look like as an entrepreneur:
Task Conflict
You're working on two overlapping and important client projects with competing demands that are due at the end of the month. You might feel frustrated and overwhelmed, struggling to prioritize and stay organized with all of the spinning plates. Without clear systems or boundaries, they can quickly turn into burnout or missed deadlines. [3]
The fire-starter will take on both jobs in the excitement of the moment and then suffer in silence as the deadline passes them by.
The conflict-avoider will avoid taking on one or both tasks because it all feels overwhelming.
Relationship Conflict
Collaborating with others who have different communication or working styles can create a relationship conflict. Each human is driven by valid preferences and needs. One may need structure and stability, and another may need natural spontaneity. Relationship conflicts often have more to do with miscommunication than irreconcilable differences.
The fire-starter will react defensively or jump to conclusions.
The conflict-avoider will suffer in silence.
Value Conflict
You're passionate about authenticity and transparency, and you have a business opportunity to work with a rigid, performance-driven organization. They want you to focus on productivity-boosting strategies rather than holistic well-being.
The fire-starter will take on the job without setting boundaries for short-term gain, not long-term alignment with their mission.
The conflict-avoider will avoid the opportunity altogether.
Wherever you are on the spectrum of conflict as entrepreneurs, as a daily occurrence in our lives, each opportunity is lined with the power of choice.
So why might we avoid them, and where and when should we consider facing conflict?
In short, avoiding conflict is based in fear.
"Being conflict-avoidant is people pleasing. Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in an environment that was dismissive or hypercritical. People who respond to conflict this way often expect negative outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person's reaction. You prefer to be seen as the 'nice personā.ā [4]
This quote highlights factors that can contribute to conflict avoidance, helping us understand why we might instinctively shy away from difficult conversations.
You have agency and the power of choice.
There are times when engaging in conflict is unsafe. But there are also times when an opportunity presents the choice of facing conflict as an area of growth, resiliency, and building relationships.
Conflict is uncomfortable.
Just as we may have feared falling the first time we learned to ride a bike, navigating conflict might initially make us uneasy.
But each step, each turn in the trail, builds confidence and resilience.
Together, letās learn ways to teach our minds that conflict isn't an obstacleāit's a natural response to fear and part of our journey as we move forward, building better connections in our brains and with others and finding the courage to speak our truths.
As you learn to use your compass and map together, conflict will become less of a threat and more of an opportunityāa chance to deepen your understanding, clarify your values, and continue forward on your unique journey. Conflict, when approached with the right mindset and tools, can be a catalyst for growth, resilience, and stronger relationships.
It's not just a problem to be solved but a chance to learn more about yourself and others.
Resolving issues effectively means learning that conflict is a healthy part of communication with other humans. We're interacting with 8.1 billion different humans with 8.1 billion different experiences, and you are uniquely you. Even identical twins have different experiences!
Taking small steps daily to face conflict by speaking up for yourself (or others!) will be your new comfort zone!
Weāll learn that disagreement brings deeper understanding, leading to improved connections with friends, colleagues, and clients!
By learning (and relearning) the art of saying no, you'll give yourself the freedom to say a resounding "yes" to what really matters.
My questions for you this week :
Which do you relate to more: the āfire-starterā who charges into tasks and risks burnout or the āconflict-avoiderā who steps back to maintain calm?
How does that approach impact your business or personal relationships?
Reply and share with me!
Letās discuss ways I can support conflict for you and your business.
Are you a like-hearted entrepreneur ready for support? Let's connect.
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Jamieās Second Brain Corner
[1] Dictionary.com
[2] 3 Common Types of Conflict
[3] Did you miss our month on Boundaries?
[5] Did someone say compass + MAP?! Learn more about my Personalized MindSweep Mapping Process!
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