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🧠 Weekly Mind Sweep #81 | Manage Your Mind | Permission

Our brain is biased; we live on a big rock moving through space, and nothing matters.

Ok, well, that's a strong statement. But, sometimes, I say it out loud to ground myself in the present moment, breathe and remind myself I'm not saving human lives.

We believe that:

  • our decisions are in our hands

  • our opinions, beliefs, and principles make us who we are

  • that we make decisions based on what we like and dislike.

This is only partially accurate.

Our external environment plays a major role in our behavior and decision-making, as our brain reacts to all kinds of cues. Even if we aren't aware of it. The more we understand how our brains work and what affects our behavior, the better our decisions, products, services, and relationships will be.

To change your life, you need to change your thoughts.

The brain is a complicated organ. And, as long as we have studied it and tried to understand it, we've only got a glimpse into its potential. 

The brain has evolved at a different rate than technology.

When it comes to permission, our brains lie to us daily because it's still only trying to keep us alive. Like from poisonous berries and the food chain, still.

But, for those of you like me, we must understand whyyyyyyyy.

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Let’s sweep the brain…

Our brain has a negative bias from our evolution. 

Humans react more intensely to negative stimuli. It's science. The key isn't avoiding it; it's being aware that it's happening. Various studies have shown that negative bias can affect how people think, react, and feel. Relationships, decision-making, and how you perceive people are just a few everyday areas where you might feel the effects of this bias. It alters our decision-making and changes our desire to complete a task.

Negativity bias and being too risk-averse can significantly impact decision-making.

What can I do about it?

I was fascinated by the ABCDE model I've practiced, not having seen it laid out so eloquently.

Caution, you are entering the brain of Jamie Chapman.

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Activating Event: My brain: How amazing would it be to go against the grain of the negative bias marking women are fed every day about their business!!! [*1] I could create a safe container for women who choose to mindfully work on their business and feel less shame about the fact that they are!!!

These women can choose harmony of building their business and enjoying their lives all year long, not just in the summer!!! I want to create an offer called the Back to Business Summer Camp!!! (also, hi dopamine! And, screw you, Grammarly - I meant to put in all of those exclamation points)

Belief: My brain: Ugh, this is hard, sad, and discouraging. No one is interested in an offer like this. Why are you wasting your time? Everyone is on vacation for the summer [*2]. Don't bother, Jamie. Wait until fall!!!

Consequence: My brain: Abort!! Abort!! Keep yourself safe from rejection!! Rejection feels uncomfortable. Abort! Abort! Run. Run far. This isn't safe. This makes you vulnerable to feeling hurt!!!

I delayed creating my offer. AKA: I became a creative procrastinator.

Dispute: My brain with a Curated Conversation approach: What evidence do I have to support my beliefs? Well, none because I've never attempted to put an offer like this together. I'd never tried to gather a group of women with this purpose, let alone during the summer months. What if they all reject me? What if no one is interested? [3] Why NOT put my offer out there? 

Because it's uncomfortable. 

You can sit and dwell here for as long as you'd like. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, even years. When you expect this is how things will go, it will be how things go. 

Break the cycle

Effective New Belief and Emotional Consequence: My brain: So, you're telling me if I sit through the uncomfortable feelings that my brain keeps telling me and take the risk of putting my idea out there, there's a possibility that it could be successful?!?!

I could find people who believe in something I'm so passionate about??!! I could have positive feelings of success, joy, excitement, and validation?!?! <(You should totally run away from the possibility of that!)

Ok, brain. But there is a possibility that I put the offer out there and zero people sign-up. That will show you! {raises fist}. 

Self-doubt is part of the process. Creativity takes courage.

Or, you can learn from the gifts and opportunities of no one signing up and get valuable feedback from your learnings to improve your offer. You can grow deeper relationships and find your purpose in life and business.

Be reflective, not reactive.

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I have put numerous offers into the world with similar vigor and passion and have had no one sign up.

You will face rejection and failure.

These setbacks opportunities led me to learn more about myself, my ideal client, and their needs. Now three years into my business, I'm beginning to fine-tune how I choose to show up, be clearer about where my gifts lie, and fulfill my passion for supporting minds of all kinds. Mistakes are teachers.

The way we think and perceive things can make us feel anxious, unequipped, or overwhelmed.

The TLDR version; You don't need permission to do anything. Period.

  • You don't need permission to say no.

  • You don't need permission to change your mind.

  • You don't need permission to ask.

  • You don't need permission to put work out there.

  • Don't wait for the invitation.

  • Don't wait to start living your life.

Don't wait for permission.

The longer you stay sitting in the negativity bias, the more stuck you remain. Try asking yourself more useful questions like:

  • What thoughts take over your mind when you are stressed?

  • Are the thoughts I'm having self-limiting?

  • What am I afraid of?

  • How do you want to feel, and what will you do about it?

  • In what ways do I self-sabotage myself?

  • What steps am I willing to take right now?

  • Where can I rewire my negative self-talk?

  • Am I willing to sit through the discomfort of trying something new?

  • What 1% step can I take today to show my brain I can?

  • What excuses do I keep making for not creating something you're passionate about?

Learning and growing is difficult if you remain in your comfort zone.

The things that lie beneath the surface are where true change happens. People don't achieve their goals or realize their dreams because they don't take action. Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's the willingness to move forward despite your fear.

What you focus on is what you attract. 

Are you ready to start building a business you're proud of? You belong here; I can help.

Want a copy of the ABCDE method to try out? https://bit.ly/TheABCDEMethod

Want to see a list of known cognitive biases? < make sure you are sitting down.

Did you miss out on summer camp? Interested in a fall group?

This has become a new space for my digressions.

[*1] Yes, my brain uses a lot of exclamation points. I attempt to tone it down in my writing and speaking, but someones, they just all fall out. 

[*2] No, only some are on vacation this summer. Some of us are touring colleges for our twin sons. Some of us are feeling the pain of inflation and rising food costs. Some of us are not bringing in the income we need as entrepreneurs and can't afford to travel far and wide. [But, if you keep watching the news or a social media channel near you, you'll feel otherwise!]

[*3] See how the negative thoughts keep returning. My brain desperately tries to keep me safe from the uncomfortable feelings that could happen. But what if they don't? What if I fly?


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