🧠 Weekly MindSweep No. 194 | Curated Conversation | Self-Worth
October 2025
*Week 194: Curated Conversation: Self-Worth
Week 195: Mind Your Business: Self-Worth
Week 196: Manage Your Mind: Self-Worth
Week 197: What’s On My Mind: Self-Worth
Let’s sweep the brain…
Let’s Sweep the Brain
🎬 Rather watch or listen instead of read? Now you can!
In the MindSweep this week:
Curated Conversation with curated GIF’s & puns (for your entertainment).
Jamie’s Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? I’ve got you!
What’s I’m Reading - The Mind Electric by Pria Anand
Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursday) & Shannon Giordano and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce (First Friday)
My face 💜 and a link to schedule your free consultation.
Piecing Together Self-Worth
A few years ago, after running a successful Chickbook Creative Summer Camp group program, I launched a second-round offer: a membership-based community called The Entrepreneurial BrainTrust.
It was an offer I believed in and one I had poured my time, energy, and heart into. The first round had gone well, so I expected the momentum to carry forward.
I pressed “post,” and in my head I could already see it: the rush of excitement, the sign-ups, the messages rolling in.
And then… silence.
The kind that makes you refresh your email twice in a row because maybe the Wi-Fi hiccupped. The kind where your phone feels heavier in your hand, like it knows something you don’t. I walked to the sink and ran water just to hear a sound that wasn’t the sound of nothing. I told myself, “Give it an hour.” Then, “Give it till after lunch.” Walter White Boots even looked at me like I was supposed to know what came next?! [1]
In that silence, my brain filled the space with stories:
“Maybe this offer wasn’t good enough.”
“People must not be interested in what I’m doing.”
“Maybe I should—gasp—go back to working for someone else.”
Sound familiar? No, just me? Weird.
It’s been interesting unpacking last month’s topic of expectation with a room full of creative entrepreneurs. These are the bold trailblazers who once worked for someone else, discovered they were in the wrong place doing the wrong work for the wrong people, and literally walked away from the security of a steady paycheck to build a life and business on their own terms. Humans who realized that being told what to do, when, and how wasn’t working for their values—or for their souls.
And yet, the irony is: the very courage it takes to leave a paycheck behind doesn’t make you immune to self-doubt. It almost guarantees you’ll meet it head-on. These same trailblazers, the ones who swim against the current and create offers from their gifts and genius, often find their self-worth entangled in outcomes. When things don’t go as expected (or, more accurately, as their dopamine-filled brains predicted), they jam the arrow right into their own hearts—and then they twist it.
If you’re an ADHD creative entrepreneur you can feel that arrow even sharper. Not because you’re fragile, but because your brain is vivid. You don’t just hope. You can see the movie trailer of what’s about to happen, the music swelling, and the calendar filling with calls.
When the movie in your mind doesn’t match the scene in real life, it doesn’t just disappoint. It is disorienting.
This is where today’s Curated Conversation lives, right in that gap, because that gap is where self-worth is most at risk and where it can be rebuilt.
What Is Self-Worth, Really?
At its simplest, self-worth is the belief that you are valuable regardless of the outcome.
Not because you crushed a launch.
Not because a post went viral.
Not because three clients signed in twenty-four hours.
Self-worth is the quiet conviction that your voice matters, your opinions are valid, and your presence holds weight even when the room is silent.
It’s related to confidence and self-esteem, but it isn’t quite the same:
Confidence is “what I can do” (skills, reps, track record). [3]
Self-esteem is “how I feel about me today” (which can totally be mood-colored).
Self-worth is “who I am underneath outcomes” (our literal foundation).
Think of it like working on a jigsaw puzzle: confidence is the edge pieces that give you structure, self-esteem is the satisfaction when you snap a few colorful pieces into place, and self-worth is the table the whole puzzle sits on. If the table’s wobbly, it doesn’t matter how carefully you’ve sorted or how many pieces you’ve connected; one bump and the whole thing scatters. We’re not trying to glue the puzzle together; we’re making sure the table is steady enough to hold it.
And yes, this is a practice.
For most of us, the first time we realize our table is wobbly is when something shakes it: a quiet launch, a ghosting client, a workshop that didn’t fill, an email that got fewer replies than your “I finally finished the 1,000-piece puzzle!” humblebrag on Instagram.
That’s not a personal failing; it’s a signal.
Why Your Brain Makes This Hard
Your brain is a prediction machine. It constantly runs “what’s likely to happen next?” simulations. Dopamine, often mislabeled as a pleasure chemical, is really the anticipation messenger. It surges when you imagine the good thing landing. The brain loves reward prediction: “If I do X, I’ll probably get Y.”
When Y doesn’t show up (or shows up slower, smaller, or sideways), your brain registers a reward prediction error. That mismatch triggers the brain’s threat circuitry—the parts that say, “Uh-oh, something’s off.” For brains with ADHD, which are exquisitely tuned to novelty and interest, so that error can feel more pronounced and overwhelming. Add in the common experience of rejection sensitivity (the amplified sting when something doesn’t land), and the brain’s shortcut becomes:
“The outcome didn’t meet the story… so I must not be enough.”
Is that logical? No.
Is it human? Absolutely.
The goal isn’t to scold the brain for doing brain things; it’s to notice the moment the story starts and shift from “I am the outcome” to “I am the author.”
In Week 196, we’ll delve into this science and provide the brain with the compassionate user manual it deserves. For now, let’s hold this simple reframe:
“My brain predicted a reward. The reward didn’t arrive on schedule. My worth is not the variable here.”
When Silence Speaks Too Loud
I’m going to say the quiet, internal voice part, out loud: that day, I let silence define me for longer than I care to admit. I checked my phone more than I checked on myself. I re-read the post and critiqued my line breaks (as if a rogue em dash had deterred people). I fantasized about a parallel universe where I’d posted at 8:02 a.m. instead of 9:17 a.m., and everyone’s calendars magically cleared.
Then I did something unintentionally wise: I made meatloaf.
Not as an act of avoidance, but as an act of anchoring. Chop the onion, then find the breadcrumbs. Crack the egg, mix the ingredients, and put everything in the oven. The house fills with a smell that says, “You are here.” Walter was able to settle in by my feet. My shoulders dropped. I didn’t fix my business in that hour; I remembered I had a body in that hour.
Making meatloaf didn’t fill the offer either. It did, however, put the table back under the build.
That night, I wrote down three facts on paper:
I made an offer that I believe in.
Today, sign-ups were lower than I expected.
I don’t know yet what tomorrow will bring.
On the right side, I wrote down the story my brain was trying to sell me:
No one cares.
You blew it.
This proves that you should consider shrinking and going back to working for someone else.
Seeing “fact” and “story” in ink didn’t fix my feelings. It separated them. That separation gave me back agency:
“If this is a story, I can write another draft.”
So this week, let’s focus on the practices that return us to ourselves when the movie in our mind doesn’t match the scene in the room.
5 Awareness Tools to Notice (and Nurture) Self-Worth
Here are 5 awareness tools to help you recognize and cultivate your self-worth. These are small on purpose. Creative brains don’t need a twelve-step labyrinth; we need tiny levers that actually get used.
1) Pause Before the Spiral: A single, intentional breath before you decide what the outcome means about you.
How to do it:
Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four.
Exhale through your mouth for a count of six.
Whisper (yes, whispering helps): “Data, not drama.”
Why it works: That longer exhale cues your nervous system to downshift. It buys you a sliver of space between stimulus and story. In that sliver, you gain choice.
ADHD tip: Pair your pause with a micro-cue you already do, such as closing your laptop lid, setting your phone down, or turning on the kettle for tea. Anchor the breath to the cue.
2) Separate Fact from Story: A two-column reality check.
How to do it:
Left column: Facts (the observable, verifiable ones).
Right column: Story (your interpretation, prediction, and meaning).
Example:
Fact: “Four people clicked; one person purchased.”
Story: “People don’t want this.” → New Story: “Four people clicked. That’s a signal. One person purchased it. That’s a pattern beginning.”
Why it works: Your brain treats thoughts like facts until you visually differentiate them. Paper makes thoughts behave.
ADHD tip: Keep a dedicated “Fact/Story” note on your phone. Use the same template every time so you’re not reinventing forms when your brain is flooded.
3) Spot the Pattern: Pattern recognition without self-indictment.
How to do it: Ask two questions:
“When else have I felt this?”
“What did I do that helped then?”
Example: “I felt this after the workshop last spring. A walk and a 10-minute ‘next step’ sprint helped.”
Why it works: Patterns give you a personal playbook. You aren’t starting from zero; you’re retrieving what already works for your brain.
ADHD tip: Title a note “My Loop → My Lever.” When you catch a loop (silence = I’m failing), pair it with the lever that’s helped (call a friend; send one check-in email; take a 15-minute nature loop). Make the story one screen shorter.
4) Voice the Need: Saying what you need out loud, even when your voice shakes.
How to do it: Script it. “I need reassurance that this isn’t a verdict.” “I need a walk.” “I need to table decisions until after dinner.” “I need help writing the second outreach email.”
Why it works: Needs named are needs noticed. The more you practice stating your needs, the less your voice shakes over time. That’s evidence of worth in motion.
ADHD tip: Leave yourself a 30-second voice memo titled “Future Me.” Future You listens tomorrow and hears Present You’s compassion. Yes, it’s weird. It’s also magic.
5) Choose the Next Aligned Step: Action, but right-sized.
How to do it: Ask: “Given what’s true right now, what’s the smallest step that keeps me in integrity with my offer?” Then do just that.
Examples:
Send one personal invite to someone who’d genuinely benefit.
Write one clarifying paragraph in your sales page.
Share one behind-the-scenes story about why this offer exists (not why it should sell).
Or, yes, make dinner.
Why it works: Motion dissolves shame. Tiny motion respects ADHD energy and honors the nervous system. It also creates data you can iterate on.
ADHD tip: Use a timer for 10 minutes. When it dings, you’re done. Celebrate completion, not volume.
When Self-Worth Slipped (And What Brought It Back)
When my self-worth was at its lowest, everything felt personal. Every silence was rejection. Every misstep was my fault. Cue the boo-hoo me soundtrack.
And this is the part that still surprises me: I was the same human who had walked away from the safety of a steady paycheck to build my own business. The same human who had chosen uncertainty over comfort because my soul needed something different. That kind of courage should have made me bulletproof, right?
But courage doesn’t cancel out self-doubt; it just ensures you’ll bump into it along the way.
If you’ve been there or if you’re there right now, I want you to know two things:
You’re not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what brains do under uncertainty.
You don’t have to wait for a “win” to feel worthy again.
These days, the boo-hoo me pits are harder for me to find. Not because I’ve cracked the self-worth code, but because I’ve built awareness. I practice checking in with myself about how a situation might feel, or where I’ve experienced this as a pattern in my life.
I remember that self-worth is a baseline, not a bonus.
And then, I choose.
Sometimes I send three thoughtful DMs to people the offer was made for. Sometimes I choose to sleep on it, because tired brains write terrible stories. Sometimes I decide to change nothing and let the offer sit, because not every silence is a verdict; sometimes it’s just Wednesday.
The moment you stop negotiating your worth with the outcome, your creativity loosens up. You try things. You play again. You say, “Let’s see.”
Ironically, that freedom often leads to the results you wanted in the first place, not because you squeezed harder, but because you softened your grip.
Placing the Next Piece
That night with the quiet Entrepreneurial BrainTrust launch:
I sent one message to someone I knew would benefit from it. I didn’t pitch; I invited.
I added one paragraph to the offer page that names the real problem it solves.
I recorded one 45-second voice memo for myself that said, “This is not a verdict. This is a beginning.”
Then I ate my delicious meatloaf with my family and let the dog lick the ketchup off my wrist like the world wasn’t ending, because it wasn’t.
Did the offer suddenly explode? No. There was no movie-moment crescendo here. What changed was me. I learned not to jam the arrow in my soul and twist it. I can now notice the urge to set it down and choose differently.
In the days that followed the launch, a community did gather in a different way, exactly who it was for. Which, if we’re honest, is all I ever wanted: to do work that fits our values and our souls, with people who say, “I feel seen.”
That’s the real work of self-worth. Not eliminating doubt, but noticing when it shows up, loosening its grip, and remembering:
Your worth isn’t up for debate. It never was.
And if today is quiet, let it be quiet without turning it into a referendum on your value. Make dinner. Take a lap. Send one invite. Write the next true sentence. Place one more piece in the puzzle.
The reality remains that if you had the dared to walk away from the safety of a paycheck to build something of your own, you already have the courage to place the next piece. Even if the picture isn’t finished yet, the table is strong enough to hold what you’re building.
We’ll keep going together.
For now, breathe. You are not the outcome.
You are the author.
My questions for you this week :
Where in your business (or life) do you notice your self-worth wobble the most
How would your choices shift if you trusted that your worth was never on the line?
Reply and share with me!
✨ If today’s MindSweep hit a nerve, that’s not failure; it’s awareness. And awareness is the first piece of the puzzle.
If you’re ready to stop negotiating your worth with every outcome and start building from a steadier foundation, let’s talk. My MindSweep Mapping Session is designed for ADHD creative entrepreneurs like you to untangle the noise in your head, see the patterns on paper, and design next steps that align with your values (not just your to-do list).
🧠 Your brain. Your business. Mapped.
👉 Book your free MindSweep Chat: www.chickbookcreative.com/mind-sweep
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Jamie’s Second Brain Corner:
[2] Did you miss our month on Expectation?
[3] Did you miss our month on Confidence?
[X] What is Curated Conversations?
[X] Did someone say MindSweep MAP?!
[X] Follow Chickbook Creative on Substack!
[X] NEW>> Now on Apple Podcasts!
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What I’m reading
The Mind Electric: A Neurologist on the Strangeness and Wonder of Our Brains
by Pria Anand
Stories are etched into the very structure of our brains, coded so deeply that the impulse for storytelling survives and even surges after the most devastating injuries. But our brains are also porous—the stories they concoct shaped by cultural narratives about bodies and illness that permeate the minds of doctors and patients alike. In the history of medicine, some stories are heard, while others—the narratives of women, of Black and brown people, of displaced people, of disempowered people—are too often dismissed.
In The Mind Electric, neurologist Pria Anand reveals—through case study, history, fable, and memoir—all that the medical establishment has overlooked: the complexity and wonder of brains in health and in extremis, and the vast gray area between sanity and insanity, doctor and patient, and illness and wellness, each separated from the next by the thin veneer of a different story.
Find it where you browse for books.
Collaborations!
Join us THIS Friday, October 3rd, 2025 from 9am-11am.
For October Shannon and I will welcome Nira Mahesh of Illuminira Consulting LLC for a presentation on:
Demystifying AI: How to conquer your fears and leverage it for real-life.
This presentation will give you practical guidance on what AI is, and how to responsibly use it for any workflow.
Nira will show you how to save time, make better decisions, and improve your communication skills, regardless of your business type or size.
After this pre-Halloween session, you will not be afraid of AI!
Join us for this engaging presentation in community with other business owners. You'll leave with new tools to help you make connections and build your business!
Free; Registration is required: REGISTRATION.
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