🧠Weekly MindSweep No. 174 | Curated Conversation | Validation

May 2025

*Week 174: Curated Conversation: Validation

Week 175: Mind Your Business: Validation

Week 176: Manage Your Mind: Validation

Week 177: What’s On My Mind: Validation

Let’s sweep the brain…

🎬 Rather watch or listen instead of read? Now you can!

👉 Click here to Listen

In the MindSweep this week:

1. Curated Conversation with curated GIF’s & puns (for your entertainment).

2. Jamie’s Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? I’ve got you!

3. What’s I’m Reading - Intermezzo by Sally Rooney

4. Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursday) & Shannon Giordano and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce

5. My face 💜 and a link to schedule your free consultation.

Borrowed Applause: Why Your Brain Pays Rent on Other People’s Opinions

Last year, as I reflected on a shared experience, I whispered into a Marco Polo* to a close friend, “Please tell me I’m not losing my mind."

Fast‑forward to last Friday: I’m standing at the podium, following the President of Framingham State University, mic in hand, facing a sea of 100 seasoned leaders. And, instead of shrinking, I ask for exactly what I needed–my voice steady and my pulse calm.

Same brain, wildly different moments on the validation spectrum.

*join me on Marco Polo! Link in Jamie’s Second Brain Corner

via GIPHY

Let’s sweep the brain…

🎬 Rather watch or listen instead of read? Now you can!

👉 Click here to Listen

That swing—from late‑night doubt to spotlight confidence—isn’t just my melodrama; it’s the creative entrepreneur’s daily commute.

While we dissected confidence together in April, one question kept tailgating every conversation: Why does my brain beg strangers on the internet (or a room full of business owners) for a gold star before it lets me exhale?

Dopamine.

Our creative‑flavored brains don’t always fire the internal “job‑well‑done” confetti cannons that neurotypicals get for free. This is partly due to differences in how our brains process dopamine, the neurotransmitter linked to motivation and pleasure.

So we hunt outside ourselves—likes, reshares, approving nods—to coax that reward chemistry into gear. Oh, hey, social media, we’re looking at you. This isn’t a flaw; it’s a natural adaptation to how our brains are built.

But chasing validation can feel like paying rent on someone else’s opinion: the moment their approval wobbles, our confidence forecloses.

via GIPHY

This month, we’ll unpack Validation—because understanding the brain science behind our validation cravings is the first brick in building a sturdier, self‑powered confidence engine.

As creative entrepreneurs, we’re wired a bit differently when it comes to reward and motivation.

While seeking validation is human, it can become a double-edged sword for creative entrepreneurs. If our sense of self-worth hinges on external approval, we become vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and the emotional rollercoaster of entrepreneurship.

This can fuel patterns like rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), where even minor criticism feels intensely personal and overwhelming. Over time, relying on external approval can erode confidence, deepen self‑doubt, and push us toward immature ego defenses—avoidance, defensiveness—rather than cultivating a resilient, healthy sense of self. [1,2]

Validation isn’t just something we seek; it’s also something we can give in a healthy way.

When we offer genuine validation in conversation, we help others feel seen, heard, and understood. This builds trust, deepens relationships, and creates a supportive environment where everyone can thrive. As entrepreneurs and leaders, practicing validation with our colleagues, clients, and community is a powerful way to foster connection and confidence. [3,4]

Before we rush into tactics, let’s pause and build situational awareness—because transformation always starts with noticing.

via GIPHY

Notice Your Triggers: Catch the exact moments you reach for a gold star. Was it after pitching an idea, posting on Instagram, or emailing a proposal? Jot it down; patterns reveal needs. #FieldStudy

• Reframe Your Narrative: Remember: your challenges are often rooted in neurobiology, not personal failings. Swap “What’s wrong with me?” for “My brain’s wiring is asking for a dopamine top‑up.” Compassion beats self‑criticism every time.

• Set Internal Goals: Shrink the win. Break big ambitions into small, meaningful steps you can celebrate without an audience. Celebrate progress based on your own values, not just external praise.

• Practice Self-Validation: Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that recognize both your struggles and your strengths. When your inner critic pipes up, answer back, “Yes, this is hard—and I’m handling it.” Over time, this will rewire your brain to appreciate internal rewards.

• Offer Validation to Others: Make a habit of acknowledging and giving the kind of acknowledgment you crave: “I see how much thought you put into that launch.” You’ll make someone feel truly valued, and it will strengthen your own sense of connection and leadership.

Remind your brain that worth isn’t a scarce resource.

Validation is currency our neuro‑spicy brains sometimes overspend, but it’s also a muscle we can train to flex inward. When we notice the urge, reframe the story, and deliver our own gold stars first, we cut the cord that tethers our confidence to someone else’s applause.

Next time that dopamine itch strikes—after you hit post, finish a proposal, or step offstage—try this quick, three‑breath reset:

• Name the Need – “I’m craving a hit of ‘you’re-okay’ right now.”

• Note the Win – “I followed through, even with the nerves. That matters.”

• Nudge the Growth – “What tiny tweak will make it easier next time?”

Then, before you close your laptop, send a note of genuine validation to a peer.

Paradoxically, giving recognition primes our own reward circuitry; everyone’s cup fills a little higher.

via GIPHY

Here’s a way to practice in our Chickbook Creative Community this week:

• Post a solo celebration in the community: one win, no qualifiers.

• DM a fellow entrepreneur a specific validation (effort > outcome).

• Journal a moment you caught—and calmed—the validation urge.

By becoming aware of your own patterns and practicing self-validation, you’ll build a healthier, more resilient ego, and you’ll have the power to help others feel seen and supported, too.

Remember, worth isn’t pie.

Every slice you give away just proves there’s more where that came from. By the end of this month, my goal is that we’ll all be baking our own pies—confetti‑sprinkled, dopamine‑rich, and 100 percent self‑served.

Ready?

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My questions for you this week :

• Which recurring situation (client feedback, family comments, social‑media metrics) most reliably triggers your “borrowed applause” habit—and why do you think that one hits hardest?

• If you had to design a five‑minute ritual that delivers your own gold star without outside approval, what would it look like?

Reply and share with me!

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Jamie’s Second Brain Corner:

[1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1087054712459559

[2] Did you miss our month on Ego?

[3] Did you miss our month on Relationship?

[4] Did you miss our month on Confidence?

[*] Join me on Marco Polo

[X] Did someone say MindSweep MAP?! Learn more about my Personalized MindSweep Mapping Process

[X] Follow Chickbook Creative on Substack!

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Where to find me

MONDAY: 8 am - Curated Conversation - Zoom

Changing the world, one Monday Morning at a time. Learn more + Sign Up for a Monday morning reminder!

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What I’m reading

Intermezzo

Author: Sally Rooney

An exquisitely moving story about grief, love, and family—but especially love.

Aside from the fact that they are brothers, Peter and Ivan Koubek seem to have little in common.

Peter is a Dublin lawyer in his thirties—successful, competent, and apparently unassailable. But in the wake of their father’s death, he’s medicating himself to sleep and struggling to manage his relationships with two very different women—his enduring first love, Sylvia, and Naomi, a college student for whom life is one long joke.

Ivan is a twenty-two-year-old competitive chess player. He has always seen himself as socially awkward, a loner, the antithesis of his glib elder brother. Now, in the early weeks of his bereavement, Ivan meets Margaret, an older woman emerging from her own turbulent past, and their lives become rapidly and intensely intertwined.

For two grieving brothers and the people they love, this is a new interlude—a period of desire, despair, and possibility; a chance to find out how much one life might hold inside itself without breaking.

Find it where you browse for books.

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Collaborations!

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Join us THIS Friday, May 9th, at the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce for this two-hour interactive business community experience.

We'll discuss ways to cultivate business through Sales, Marketing, and Communication methods that support relationship building, showing up authentically, and connecting deeper with colleagues and the people you serve.

9-11 am - Open discussion, community support, brainstorming ideas

Join me in meeting business owners in our community. You'll leave with new tools to help you make connections and build your business!

Free; Registration is required: REGISTRATION.

Mindful Connections

Connecting like-hearted entrepreneurs to build relationships, offering support, understanding their passions, and sharing their names in rooms of opportunity.

Join us Thursdays, 12-1 pm EST.

12:00 - Take 5—a guided meditation with Terri Hamilton of Positively Terri to ground your week with peace and focus.

12:05-1 pm Round-table Share

• Who you are

• The gifts you bring to the world

• Who you serve

• The answer to a Curated question to spark conversation.

If you found this on the web, sign up to join us!

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In other news…

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