🧠Weekly Mind Sweep #153 | Mind Your Business | Civility
December 2024
Week 152: Curated Conversation: Civility
*Week 153: Mind Your Business: Civility
Week 153: Mind Your Business: Civility
Week 154: Manage Your Mind: Civility
Week 155: What’s on My Mind: Civility
Let’s sweep the brain…
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In the MindSweep this week:
Curated Conversation with curated GIF’s & puns (for your entertainment).
Jamie’s Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? I’ve got you!
What’s I’m Reading - An amazing find at a local bookstore!
Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursday) & Shannon Giordano, and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce.
My face đź’ś and a link to schedule your free consultation.
It started with an aioli.
I was late for lunch with colleagues the other day.
A client on Zoom needed my support, and at that moment, I was right where I needed to be, doing exactly what I'm here to do, and time slipped by faster than a blink of an eye. You think you can get where you need to go as fast as you can click on the next Zoom room.
Spoiler alert: physical teleportation isn't a thing--yet.
I grabbed my emotional support water, keys, phone, and the mental chatter of what I needed to accomplish by 3 p.m. and ran towards the car. Waze glared back at me that I would be SEVEN minutes late. Ugh.
I took a deep breath and a mantra:
Everyone will prefer I arrive safe rather than on time.
Naturally, my colleagues welcomed me with open arms, smiles, hugs, and zero acknowledgment of my delay.
I settled in, practiced the power of the pause, and took a few deep breaths.
As we prepared to order, my colleague Allison, a fellow potato connoisseur, asked for an additional aioli to dip their delicious fries in. The waiter informed her that there would be an extra $1.50 charge.
Allison, usually the calmest person at the table, having had a long week managing a challenging client, said
"Why is it $1.50 extra for a small container of aioli? That's outrageous!"
Her sharp tone surprised even her.
I felt the familiar surge of secondhand embarrassment. I wanted to jump in—to tell her to let it go, that it's just aioli. But something stopped me: a thought about something I read last week about the neuroscience of stress and civility. I imagined her prefrontal cortex overloaded and shutting down, sending reactive signals that had nothing to do with the aioli.
Young and visibly shaken, the waiter stammered an apology, their eyes darting nervously to the rest of the table.
And then I remembered a moment from years ago when I was in customer service, enduring the wrath of someone's bad day. I'd been the target, and I'd been the aggressor.
Civility, I realized, isn't about grand gestures. Sometimes, it's as simple as interrupting a cycle.
"Hey," I said, leaning forward with what I hoped was a kind smile. "Why don't I cover the aioli?"
Allison turned, her frustration turning into confusion, then shame. "No, no," she muttered, backing down. "It's fine. I'm sorry."
The waiter's shoulders relaxed. The tension dissipated.
And just like that, the moment passed.
When I began to process the interaction later that afternoon, it hit me: civility is the secret sauce.
It's not flashy, and it doesn't demand recognition. But it's the invisible ingredient that transforms everyday interactions—especially for entrepreneurs like us who manage a delicate balance of clients, colleagues, and friendships.
Civility is about more than politeness.
It's about interrupting patterns of incivility—patterns that, according to a recent SHRM study, occur at a staggering rate of 2,194 acts per second in everyday life. [1]
Choosing civility isn't just about improving someone else's day; it's about creating environments where trust, respect, and collaboration can thrive. [2]
As entrepreneurs, we're responsible for creating these environments for our clients.
Here's what the aioli moment taught me:
Regulate Your Own Emotional Responses
Civility starts with your ability to stay calm under pressure. I could have snapped at the table—and added my frustration to the pile. But I paused, recognized my emotional reaction, and acted differently. As entrepreneurs, this skill is critical. Emotional regulation isn't just for others' benefit; it's for your own clarity and focus.
Practice Compassion
Compassion allowed me to understand Allison's frustration and the waiter's stress without getting overwhelmed. Compassion might mean giving a client grace during a tough time but maintaining the boundaries needed to protect your energy. Compassion keeps you connected without losing yourself. [3/4]
Build Psychological Safety in Your Sphere
My small gesture wasn't just about aioli—it was about showing the waiter that someone had their back. In your business relationships, psychological safety could look like creating a space where clients or collaborators feel free to share ideas or admit challenges without fear of judgment.
Civility is the secret sauce for minding your business—literally and figuratively.
It turns conflict into connection, chaos into calm, and misunderstandings into opportunities for growth. [5]
So, the next time you're in a tense moment, ask yourself: What's my secret sauce here?
Because sometimes, all it takes to change the day is the choice to cover the cost of an aioli.
My questions for you this week :
What common acts of incivility do you observe in your personal or professional life, and how do they impact the environment?
What strategies do you use to build psychological safety in business relationships, and how do they foster trust and collaboration?
Reply and share with me!
Let’s discuss ways I can support civility for you and your business.
Are you a like-hearted entrepreneur ready for support? Let's connect.
Was this blog forwarded to you? Sign up!
Jamie’s Second Brain Corner:
[2] Did you miss our month on Trust
[3] Did you miss our month on Compassion?
[4] Did you miss our month on Boundaries?
[5] Did you miss our month on Conflict?
[X] Did someone say GPS + MAP?! Learn more about my Personalized MindSweep Mapping Process!
MONDAY: 8 am - Curated Conversation - Zoom
Changing the world, one Monday Morning at a time. Learn more + Sign Up for a Monday morning reminder!
What I’m reading
Women Holding Things
Written by Maira Kalman
From a wonderful trip to downtown Natick. A dear friend and I stopped in The Hive Natick - to find it full of books! Visit Ten Trees Books!
From the critically acclaimed artist, designer, and author of the bestsellers The Principles of Uncertainty and My Favorite Things comes a wondrous collection of words and paintings that is a moving meditation on the beauty and complexity of women’s lives and roles, revealed in the things they hold.
“What do women hold? The home and the family. And the children and the food. The friendships. The work. The work of the world. And the work of being human. The memories. And the troubles. And the sorrows and the triumphs. And the love.”
Collaborations!
Join us Friday, January 3rd, at the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce for this two-hour interactive business community experience.
We'll discuss ways to cultivate business through Sales, Marketing, and Communication methods that support relationship building, showing up authentically, and connecting deeper with colleagues and the people you serve.
9-11 am - Open discussion, community support, brainstorming ideas
Join me in meeting business owners in our community. You'll leave with new tools to help you make connections and build your business!
Free; Registration is required: https://bit.ly/MWCoCJanuary2025
Mindful Connections
Connecting like-hearted entrepreneurs to build relationships, offering support, understanding their passions, and sharing their names in rooms of opportunity.
Join us Thursdays, 12-1 pm EST.
12:00 - Take 5—a guided meditation with Terri Hamilton of Positively Terri to ground your week with peace and focus.
12:05-1 pm Round-table Share
Who you are
The gifts you bring to the world
Who you serve
The answer to a Curated question to spark conversation.
If you found this on the web, sign up to join us!
In other news…
Feeling #FOMO about Curated Conversations? Join us!
