🧠 Weekly Mind Sweep #154 | Manage Your Mind | Civility

December 17, 2024 Jamie Chapman

🎬 Rather watch or listen instead of read? Now you can!

In the MindSweep this week:

Curated Conversation with curated GIF’s & puns (for your entertainment).
Jamie’s Second Brain Corner: Links to references. Need a map? I’ve got you!
What’s I’m Reading - An amazing find at a local bookstore!
Collaborations with Terri Hamilton (Thursday) & Shannon Giordano, and the MetroWest Chamber of Commerce.
My face 💜 and a link to schedule your free consultation.

Managing Your Mind: The Neuroscience of Civility

Last Friday morning, there was a knock at my door—I mean, who just shows up at people's houses and knocks unscheduled, uninvited, and unplanned these days? When I opened it, my neighbor stood there smiling with a plate of holiday cookies in her hands.

Her kindness immediately disarmed my mental state and offered an unexpected moment of calm.

I was in the middle of a chaotic day, managing deadlines and juggling tasks, but the simple act of civility disrupted my spiral. Later, when I reflected on that moment, I realized something profound: her kindness wasn't just a nice gesture but a reset button for my brain.

And science backs this up.

Research shows that acts of civility activate areas of the brain tied to empathy, connection, and even problem-solving.

This means civility isn't just about being polite; it's a practical tool for fostering the mental clarity needed to navigate life's chaos.

For entrepreneurs, civility can feel like a fleeting thought amidst the storm of ideas and tasks. But what if we made it a strategy? A way to manage not just relationships but also our minds?

When we experience or witness incivility, it impacts us in ways we may not notice:

Cognitive Overload: Rudeness hijacks focus, reduces our ability to remember details, and increases the likelihood of errors.
Emotional Drain: It shifts our mindset toward negativity, causing us to ruminate and question our character or decisions.
Psychological Safety: Incivility erodes trust and makes us less likely to speak up, share ideas, or collaborate.
Contagion Effect: Witnessing incivility can lead us to unintentionally carry it forward, spreading negativity to others.

This spiral is frustrating and counterproductive, especially when creativity, focus, and innovation are at the heart of entrepreneurial success.

Incivility behaves like a virus—spreading from person to person, infiltrating minds, and weakening relationships. The good news? Like any virus, we can develop immunity.

Cultivating civility strengthens our mental and emotional resilience, equipping us to thrive even in the most challenging environments.

See this content in the original post

Civility has the power to reset our brains.

Acts of kindness and respect activate areas of the brain tied to empathy and connection, fostering mental clarity and emotional balance. [1]

The first step to civility is self-awareness.

A lot of the rudeness we encounter is unintentional and often stems from a lack of self-awareness—the blind spots in our behavior that we may not realize can affect others.

Researcher Tasha Eurich found that while 95% of people believe they're self-aware, only 10-15% actually are.

This means most of us have room to uncover and address behaviors that might unintentionally come across as rude. [2]

See this content in the original post

Here's how you can practice civility to manage your mind:

Notice Reactions

Incivility often triggers unconscious responses. When you feel a threat—even a mild one—pause and ask yourself: What am I feeling, and why? Labeling your emotions engages the brain's braking system, reducing the limbic system's intensity and reactivating your prefrontal cortex. This helps you regain control and choose a thoughtful response. [3]

Power of the Pause

Instead of reacting impulsively, take a moment to breathe. Emotional regulation techniques, like the SCARF® Model, can help you identify why you feel threatened—whether it's a perceived hit to your status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, or fairness. Once you understand the trigger, you're better equipped to respond with civility. [4]

Clear is Kind

Clarity in communication reduces misunderstandings and keeps interactions positive. Use a neutral tone, focus on essential details, and avoid unnecessary complexity. This keeps others out of a threat state and helps you stay calm and composed.

See this content in the original post

Civility takes community effort.

Civility isn't just a personal strategy; it's a collective effort. Here's how you can foster it in your community and entrepreneurship:

Practice Clear Feedback: Preface constructive criticism with clients and colleagues with care. For example, "I'm sharing this because I value our relationship and want us to succeed together."
Create Safe Spaces: Build trust and respect so others feel comfortable sharing their perspectives without fear of judgment. [5,5.1]
Engage in Self-Care: Combat the mental toll of incivility by prioritizing basic needs like food, water, and exercise. Engage in activities that uplift you and build hope.
Invest in Positive Relationships: Surround yourself with people who thrive on mutual respect and kindness. This will strengthen your emotional resilience and reduce the impact of negativity. [6]

Incivility may feel like a virus, but the antidote lies within you.

By practicing self-awareness, managing your reactions, and choosing civility, you can build a stronger "immune system" for your mind.

Remember, you can't control how others behave, but you can choose to control how you respond. Bet on yourself and your ability to create a culture of kindness and respect.

It's not just good for your mind—it's essential for your success as an entrepreneur.

See this content in the original post

My questions for you this week :

How has an unexpected act of kindness impacted your mindset or shifted your perspective during a challenging moment?

Self-awareness is critical to practicing civility. How do you identify and address your own blind spots in behavior that might unintentionally affect others?

Reply and share with me!

Let’s discuss ways I can support civility for you and your business.